EPISODE 4: THEM FUCKING ZOMBIES...

I hate fucking zombies. I fucking hate them. I believe that Zombies are the most ugly, agressive, idiotic and violent people in the world. Even worst than the English people. I mean.... honest to God, they are despicable and I don't support the people that defend them. I don't. I don't care their arguments, their facts or their fucking sympathy. I swear to JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY GOD that if someone else comes up to me, I don't even care if it's my wife, her lover, their son or even you, if any of these people defend these Zombies I will pull out a gun and I'll shoot you in the head. Do NOT, I repeate, do NOT come up to me and say you liked the zombies, Oh they're were so well done, those faces looked really great."


Where the fuck is a Zombie with a great face? Show me one. Show me a fucking great face Zombie. They all look like shit. They look like someone that works in the City and goes out on a Friday night, binge drinks 'till Saturday morning throws up, passes out, wakes up Saturday night covered in his own vomit, gets up goes to drink, ends up throwing up 'till his face turns green and then sucks some drunken broad's pussy and ends up with blood and crabs all over his face!!!
Ever got home after a night like that? What's the first thing your parents tell you when you open the door?


YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT!!!! , that's what they say; JESUS CHRIST YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT!!!!! They don't say you look great, I can tell you that!!!!
OH Yeah, they don't go like: "well done. Well done, you look great; where's the rest of your face?"
...... I mean whats with the "great face" thing anyway?
Most of them don't even have a face. Or no eyes, or they have no mouth, and they don't speak. They look like the fucking homeless after a decade of street living don't they? dressed in rags, blurring out all sorts of sounds, emanating a putrid smell walking around like they're fucking drunk all the time going like "uuuuuohhhhhhhhh" then they begin following people in the middle of the night on the streets, arms reached out "uuuuuuoooohhhhhh" That's fucking scary right there, homeless Zombies

They are the most fucking useless scum of the Earth, not the homeless, the Zombies. But now they have everything, all the Zombie movies are blockbuster movies. A fucking Zombie makes a hundred million dollars. Put Meg Ryan in a movie nowadays, one of the most beautiful women in the world, you've got nothing.
Some people are lactose intolerant; me, I'm Zombie intolerant; you know those people, they throw up when they drink milk, I throw up when I see a Zombie.

I'm telling you boys and girls, these fucking Zombies are taking over the world and we're just letting them do it. We are actually paying for them to do it, in fact, paying just makes them come back over and over and over. I mean, this is getting fucking ridiculous, they're now considered a minority. Yeah, a minority.
The Zombies cannot be called Zombies anymore 'cause it's offensive. True.

You know this, don't say you don't, you fucking did it, you contributed to this..
The Zombies are not Zombies anymore. now; they're called, "infected". Forget about saying "kill these motherfucking Zombies." now you gotta say: we must kill the infected....... But that's not even true anymore 'cause they don't fucking kill the zombies anymore, do they? NO, now it's all about the cure. Bless George A. Romero who just wanted to kill the fucking things, now we've got scientists grabbing Zombies.... I'm sorry.... infected..........and putting them in laboratories so they can cure them 28 days later like in that I Am Legend Film. At least in the old Zombie movies they used to make experiments with them and then kill them when the Zombies escaped. Now it's all about finding the cure and actually save the Zombies when they're dying. Who the fuck wants to cure a Zombie anyway?

I mean, imagine this...... Imagine they could cure the Zombies and make them more people friendly; would you honestly like to go to work in a place where a Zombie worked? I mean.... you walk in and your boss is sitting at his desk, half of his face is ripped open, you can see the skull inside , his chest is wide open and he turns to you and says: Hey Jim; You're fired. uooooohhhhhhhhh"
What the fuck, that's fucked up. Getting fired by a Zombie...... You go like: "You can't fire me you fucking Zombie, I quit." And then he says: "Get the hell out of my office and you'll be hearing from my lawyer.... uooooooohhhhhhhhhhh" and then you've got to clean all that larvae that he spat on you.


OOH, OOH, and what about eating with one. Can you imagine those office lunches....
You're eating your salad and your organic food or what the fuck you eat around here and this Zombie is sitting in front of you, no fucking chin, just the half of his face and throat. The food just falls on the table..... and you're going like; Jesus Christ, I'm gonna throw up...... And what about those conversations near the water cooler, you're hanging there, your co-worker comes up to you and goes like: Hey man, I fucked a Zombie yesterday, o yeah, I shoved it up her pussy and then I shoved it up her ass and, I would've gotten a blow job but I COULDN'T FIND THE HEAD.

Do you imagine having Zombie Friends? That would be a fucking nightmare. You going out very P.C with your Zombie friends, you go into a Zombie club, they're all passed out on the floor, you get into a fight, the police comes in.
"My God It's a massacre, they;re all dead."
"They were already dead when I got here."
"Save it for downtown."
And you go to jail.

And then eventually they would come up with Zombie porn. Jesus...... What about those cum shots, hey? That would be a sight for sore eyes. Two human guy's fucking the zombie woman, of course she has no tits 'cause some Zombie ate them up when she was still human, as well as her arm....... and part of her head....... The camera does a close up and we can see their dicks inside her 'cause she has no pussy or asshole.... You know that they're basically fucking themselves; it's literally two guys rubbing their cocks against each other. One of the guy's goes like, "I feel your pussy; it's so warm."
"No dude, that's my cock......"
What are you talking about? I'm in a hole..."
"Oh Shit that's my ass...."
But honestly people. You must take concern, you mustn't be blinded by political views. These Zombies are becoming minorities and everybody protects the minorities
Be very wary of Zombies. Remember when a Frenchman was a guy from France, or an Italian was a guy from Italy or a Portuguese was a guy from Brasil? Well, censorship won't let us call them by their own fucking names anymore; now they're called, Europeans. The Charlies now are called Asians. Blacks in the United States are now called African Americans. Here in London they used to call them blacks as well but now they changed it to.......most wanted.

Let's be fucking straight, minorities get what they want, they do...... Unemployed people get welfare, poor people get houses, Zombies get Hollywood movies....... You know what's the minority that doesn't get shit?

Straight people. That's right, we don't get shit. Well, come to think of it actually, shit is all we get!!!!
The fucking straight Man gets hassled by the fucking homeless, he has to pay taxes so the unemployed can have their money to pay for booze and the fucking poor can have their new houses, he has to pay for the tickets to go see the fucking Zombies in these really shitty movies...... And on top of that we're not getting laid. Even the fucking Zombies get laid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what happens then, do they go to jail? NO!!! They rape some more, they rape tenths of women. If I raped a Zombie I bet you I'd go to jail for necrophily. "I'm sorry officer, she looked alive to me..."
"What are you doing?"
"Well, I fucked her in the ass, I grabbed her pussy but my cock had ripped through."
"That wasn't your cock, it was his...."

"And every single one of you, when this fucking Zombie is raping that poor woman, you're either jerking off or you're laughing....
I'm telling you, thirty or forty years from now you're gonna be singing a different tune. When these motherfucking Zombies are ruling this shit, and they're rulling the country and they're going to war with the humans and they're going around killing and eating everyone.

It's gonna be chaos and you're gonna be like running around with your guts hanging out, screaming "The Zombies are coming!!!!!" and you're gonna go to the hospital and see a doctor and you're gonna have half your leg ripped open and you're gonna ask the doctor: "Doctor, do I look infected to you?"
"You look fucking Zombie to me..."