I am a renaissance man, I believe in the freedom of love, I believe in giving to my fellow human, as long as it is dick I'm giving.
I will fuck everything and everyone. That's it, I'm a fucking humanitarian. My last years on this planet will be spent helping chicks in need to fuck.
I want to fuck every chick in every single situation or position in life: Ugly chicks, fat, married, divorced, smelly, blind, death, paralyzed, amputated, retarded, pregnant, mute, in a in a coma, old, dying.......dead.
You may think I left out "beautiful", I haven;t, I just don't plan for that anymore.
It ain't gonna happen. Now you might think that I'm going out on a limb here with some of these cases like, no one wants to fuck an ugly chick. I don't mind. Dead chicks fuck the best, and sometimes when the body is still fresh, it does that involuntary spasm and you go like "Oh yeah baby, work that cock!!!!"
I'm pretty confident about this list. Ugly chicks are the best chicks in the world. You do not have to worry if you're dating an ugly chick. It's heaven on earth. An ugly chick won't fuck with anyone else......because she can't and she'll let you do anything you want with her because she doesn't want to lose you. Bless their hearts. Theses chicks go out of their way to make you happy. They're so helpful when it comes to sex. They let you fuck them in the ass, they swallow,they even do ass to mouth if you want. Ugly women will fuck anything, and anyone. You don't even need a big dick to fuck an ugly chick, all you need is a paper bag, and that's not to put it over her face; it's for you to throw up on.........
Fat women, have to be really fat for you to have a guarantee of sex. They have to have like four belly's and four asses.You won't need a big dick to fuck them as well, just a leg. Now, smelly women might represent a problem. If their pussy smells you can't give them head. But if the pussy smells, the ass smells and so on and so forth. So fuck them in the bathtub. Put that woman in the water and fuck the hell out of her; even if the water turns gray, don't stop, not even if it turns red. if it's brown, it's time to pull out.
Blind women, I've been hearing this about blind women . People tell me I can't fuck a blind woman because I can see, so I'd be taking advantage of her if I did. That's not true. I don't believe I would be taking advantage of a blind woman by fucking her. In fact I think it's a win win deal. Just think of it. You meet a blind woman, you go out on a date...... no movie......she can't see, minus two hours to fuck. You go out to dinner, she's not having a long meal because she doesn't want to spill food or cut her fingers, so we'll just buy some take away and eat at home, but wait, she's blind, she won't know how to leave from your apartment and go back home, I mean, she'll find out eventually but she won't go to all that work just to get laid. So now you're going to her place, minus 20 minutes to fuck and I don't even have to tell you that the next morning you can just get up and leave and she won't follow you.......'cause she's blind!
Next comes death girls. Usually death girls are mute as well. There's something about a woman that does not possess the power of speech that completely turns me on. A woman that shuts the fuck up all the time. They just moan, and not grupmy like, just some uuuuoohhhhss and aaaahhhaaaasssss, stuff like that. Advantages, you can lay it all out in bed, call then everything but mother and they won't get offended. They can't say no to you...... they can't say yes as well, but he who's silent, agrees."
Who's next? Paralyzed. Well, that sends out waves of shock across the Nation. No harm done in having sex with a handicap person, we all deserve our right to love. Great sex, no pain. You can always let it slip to the asshole.
"Oh honey your pussy's so tight."
And she'll be all sweet on you and has no idea where you're really at. But that's not all. Always have a seat in theaters, buses, no standing in queues, or sitting, Oh and the wheelchair, perfect to store your stuff.
Amputated women are tricky. It can go both ways. It depends what's amputated. You can do well with just an arm, you don't actually need the legs as well. I don't believe in amputation. For me, an amputated woman is a woman with no holes. I have no use for their limbs whatsoever and it saves you a lot of space in bed.
Retarded women, I can't fuck Paris Hilton so i better scratch that off. Pregnant women, always wanted to fuck a pregnant woman that was not carrying my child. that's just smooth sailing. You can cum inside and..... well, you can cum inside, that's all I really need.
What about women in a coma? Women in a coma are the perfect human being. They're lying down and they don't talk. It's like picking candy from a baby. It's like having this really perfect blow up doll but without that surprised look on her face. All you have to do is fuck and deflate.....
Older women..... actually I'm skipping that. They're like apple pies, Thick crust, green moist inside that you got to take out with a spoon and then it's just grizzle holding on to bone powder.
Which leaves us in the end with the dead women. Now some of you might find this illegal. But dead people are underestimated in our society. We're too quick to dispose of the dead. It's like all of the sudden they're useless. I was told no to to joke about dead women, I was told that we should only joke about a particular subject if we are part of it like, only joke about fat people if you're fat and so on..... So I won't joke about dead women but I''l talk about women dying, and I'm not talking about from old age or disease but after an accident. If i was a paramedic and i went to this crash site, and the woman would be lying down. I'd aske her if she wanted one before biting kicking the boots. If she agreed, I would politely excuse myself and cross the road to pick up the rest of her.
